so, what is this blog for? what am i for? what is anything for?
get through life fine, without having to ponder whether life has a meaning.
find plenty of joy and happiness in their lives, without having to mull over human nature, freewill and destiny.
are reasonably happy as it is, quickly get over temporary moments of dissatisfaction, without having to determine if we have a higher soul or if we are just an animated jumble of neurons.
sure there's some pain and suffering in the world, but life goes on, and perhaps there's really not as much pain and suffering as i imagine there might be. human beings are remarkably adaptive, after a while, things become ok one way or another.
so why the heck am i devoting this inordinate time towards writing this blog? to stick to this random little goal i set out for myself, to do 365 entries this year?
with ninety-nine entries left to write, am i a slightly better person, as per my initial premise? am i a slightly happier person? am i being ridiculous in trying so hard, going to such extremes? shouldn't it come naturally? just "be" happy? i mean, most of my friends cannot even fathom why i would be interested in such unsolvable philosophical questions. sure, good for you, but i have better things to do.
i'm certainly writing this for myself. yet sometimes, i need to imagine that i'm writing this for someone else out there, just to keep going. but, the moment i feel like i am writing for an audience, i involuntarily close up, changing the nature of my thoughts. i wish it were easier.
maybe, when i approach the limits of my understanding and knowledge (which in theory can be extended, but surely not indefinitely), doubt gets replaced by a certain calmness. (doubt is a luxury of a sort, if we have no time to think, then there's no time to doubt). since i don't have the ability to will away doubt, my solution is to analyze it away. of course uncertainty remains, but perhaps, when i have no doubt that it's uncertain, it's good enough for me.
so, perhaps for now, i have some clue about the nagging "what for?" that sometimes permeates every pore in life. i'm certainly not happy all the time (that would be disturbing), but i'm starting to be better at remembering why i shouldn't be unhappy. re-reading my own words seem weirdly more authoritative (of course, another sign of my still large ego).
so, what is this blog for?
... for its simply stated title.
... for figuring the "what-fors". and a little bit of self-referencing fun.
