well, it kind of is. i started this particular blog, writing for this particular brain-based entity otherwise known as myself - writing to clear my thoughts, to figure out if i could possibly be a "reasonably good" person, to figure out the meaning of life, the meaning of meaning.
of course, things are going get in the way. sometimes, circumstances simply don't allow me to write every day, and i'll get angry and depressed. other times, i'll stare at the screen, typing out words that simply are not conveying what i'm trying to say. or, i don't know what i'm trying to say and typing is not helping. still other times, only destructive thoughts come to mind and trying to be good is the absolutely last thing on my mind.
work. phone calls. emergencies. girlfriend. anything that interrupts me and my task of figuring out everything in life. yes, i even understand the logic behind the theory that "true understanding" would entail maintaining calm and figuring how all these interruptions (obvious facts of life) fit into this grand theory.
the only issue is the theory is not very grand at all and has long been figured out. it's the application thereof that's a bitch.
the simple theory is: this is not for yourself.
no, i have no idea who it's for, but it definitely cannot be for myself. it's the only way to sustain this blog, and, somewhat ironically, to stay sane.
