Thursday, October 28, 2010

meaning of meaning?

a lot of times, i seem to be drowning in a maelstrom of contradictions. i seem to have thought so much about things, but am no closer, and perhaps only realize how far i am. there doesn't seem to be a good way to even coherently outline what i have learned about the big questions.

meaning, in a way, is very human issue. why? but why ask? because, there's something i thought of, and i don't know the answer to. there's a gap in my knowledge, and i won't be comfortable until i find out.

discovering meaning, perhaps, is a tool for us to feel good. our search for meaning (general or specific) is involuntary, coded in our genes. it goes away sometimes, but if we're not satisfied with the answer, it always comes back.

finding meaning, in the specific sense, is something we are familiar with. we want to know why the sun rises in the east, we locate the explanation, then we get the "aha" feeling of understanding the issue, the puzzle. we now know - an emotional response we know so intimately.

finding meaning, in the general sense, is considerably more difficult. it simply does not come in a nicely-wrapped package. the deeper we dig, the more confusion and emptiness we find. one man's meaningful life could be another's wasted one. and unlike questions of sunrise, there is no philosophical agreement out there on the meaning of life.

what i forget, is that finding meaning is an emotional desire, and what we wish for is the "aha". but it is an emergent sensation, and will never come a single, digestible definition. the real task is to get the conditions to be right, rather than to fall too deep into an intellectual labyrinth.