perhaps, all this "progress" has been an illusion?
perhaps, suffering really is inescapable, despite my realization that i'm a speck of a speck?
perhaps, effort really is futile?
perhaps, i'm destined to be thrown around in the oceans of fate, never getting used to either the storm or the calm?
perhaps, i'll be forever caught in the no-man's land of neither being spiritual enough to find contentment, nor being intellectual enough to fully comprehend the intricacies of existence?
perhaps, life is all downhill from here?
and i wonder if i can just forget contemplating about these things, after all, most, if not all, people do completely fine without ever worrying about it. or, i just keep myself so busy i won't have the time to worry about it.
i just need to accept, that i can't stop myself from wondering. it doesn't matter that no one else is wondering.
and that it's my mind being tossed around, really. things outside, well, the things that change, change, the things that don't change, don't change.
which is to say, things will go on no matter how my mind perceives them, so, it's ok to relax about it.
