horrifyingly i realized, this are pretty much the components of someone who likes being told what to do.
fortunately and unfortunately, i seem to still have the teenage-like rebellious mentality of not listening to any figure of authority or seniority.
which means, there's no way for me to satisfy my need to know for sure that things will be ok. (not that figures of authority really know, by the way. but there is an interim false sense of security they can provide.)
so, i really have to learn to live with not knowing where i'm going. either that, or find the answers myself that i'm so fully convinced of there's not a shred of doubt in my mind.
