each of these little blog entries is like a little war inside my brain, only that there might not be two sides, and it's more like a mosh-pit turned into a free-for-all fight.
re-reading these things is like remembering the gory details of these fights, and re-reading many of them all in one go feels like i'm drinking from a firehose, and that the firehose is spouting gasoline.
it's also a bit demoralizing to see the same questions being asked over and over, and there are far more questions than answers. and i confuse even myself. and a lot of it is just not very good, despite the effort.
so this is what i have to show for a year's worth of work? but what did i expect? one, it's only a year. two, who did i think i was. three, i still have a long, long way to go.
reviewing my own things with an objective eye is just so, so excruciating. which is why i try to avoid most of the time. which is why it's so damn important.
