(assuming basic life needs have been fulfilled here...)
i'm falling behind.
i won't live up to my own expectations.
i'm going to be very mediocre.
i will be irrelevant.
i have potential, but that's it, it just remains as potential.
i won't realize my dreams - they will remain that forever, just dreams.
i don't even know what dreams are anymore.
***
is that all? so what, now i did what i wanted to do?
is this already the highest point of my life? where else to go? there's nowhere to go but down.
am i really that good? or am i just lucky? what if people see through it?
what if i somehow lose it all?
***
the pains of me almost always overshadow the pains of the world.
the more me i feel, the greater my pain.
