ironically, no matter how many more possibilities i will read and hear about, some limits haven't changed - the number of years i have left, the hours i have in a day, the number of things i can do. the denominator is ever increasing, but the numerator stays the same.
choice is empowering, because it is a luxury and i can write my own destiny. i can decide what seeds to sow and what fruits to harvest.
and choice is agonizing, because, in relation to the ever-expanding universe of possibilities, the limits of what i can do become painfully obvious. at the moment of decision, the consequences can never be foreseen. and i don't know if a storm will wipe out the entire crop.
which is why, it is weirdly comforting to remember that actual control over things is an illusion at best.
