a hundred things

i think i must have a hundred things to do, and a hundred different ways to do each thing.

too often, i gravitate to the things that require the least mental energy. like the tiny electron seeking the lowest energy band, is there some equivalent psychological law out there that states that over the long run, we seem to seek laziness, if we can? i hope not.

funny, i don't believe focusing and thinking hard really burns that many calories. yet, it seems to be harder than anything else in the world sometimes.

there's no need to dig so deep

i think, most people are reasonably satisfied that enjoying life is their process and their goal - some kind of life that is simply less stressful than the ones we have right now.

some deeper hidden meaning behind is simply not necessary.

how we get to our target life and preferred state of mind, we figure it out along the way, and stopping to think deeply about it isn't generally a preferred method. (no time, overwhelmed, nowhere to start, there's no point)

so, leave me alone! i'm fine. i'll figure it out. don't force me to contemplate things that i won't understand anyway, it's not going to help me at this moment.

we are faced with an infinite sea of choices. with that, it's easier to put on blinders on, and do what everyone else is doing, or do what we have already been doing all along, even though we're not sure if it's going to get us to where we would like to be.

the problems of moral progress

in trying to advance along anything that is "more good", naysayers invariably outnumber supporters.

if you want to be a vegetarian and start explaining you'd like to ingest fewer dead animals, people ask you why you aren't vegan. why you use any animal products at all.

if you want to help the world and start explaining the great disparities in the world, people ask you why you don't quit your job and volunteer in africa.

if you want to be environmentally conscious, people ask why you drive, why you order take-out, why you use anything disposable, and why you don't live in a cave instead.

they're not trying to have a constructive conversation here: they feel threatened by the fact that you might actually be right and hence prefer to throw out all-or-nothing arguments to demoralize you. (they're not wrong either, by the way, there is more that any one could be doing)

of course, the preachy people who smugly tell people that they're on a higher moral plane aren't helping either - they're suspicious and annoying.

well, no one ever said it was easy...

not enough time

i remember the quote:

when you have enough time, you don't have enough money.

when you have money, you don't have enough time.

it seems i never have enough of both, which is, of course, kind of ridiculous actually. i'm luckier than i don't know, probably 99% of the population on earth, but i still have this nagging feeling that i don't have enough to be truly comfortable.

on one hand, relatively speaking, i have a manageable demand for material goods. on the other, the list of things i want to do seems just to keep growing, and growing.

a long way of telling myself that i need to focus on a couple of things. maybe, five things max.

ah, now i remember

not too long ago, i was wondering why we generally did not seem to expend much time or energy wondering about, you know, meaning-of-life type questions. i mean, people, this is the very core of our existence! but... somehow we'd rather go about our daily lives and just keep doing whatever it is we were doing, and what everyone else is doing, since we can't really go wrong doing that?

now work is piling up. meetings, calls, emails, memos, contracts. things that demand my immediate attention, or else, well... not-so-good things will happen.

so now, i remember why again.

plenty of people are asking me to do various things (work or otherwise), while no one is demanding me to figure the larger questions out. arguably, it has little relevance to my daily life. and the thinking is simply exhausting, and i often wonder when my brain will actually explode.

it's much easier to take care of the things that are screaming for my attention - the unread email, the facebook notification, and the thousands of other things that i could be doing that is actually physically visible and tangible.

in my world of limited time and unlimited distractions, instant gratification simply works rather well.

i came across a friend who quoted edward stanley: "those who think they have no time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness".

does the corollary hold true - those who think they have no time for self-reflection will sooner or later have to find time for mental anguish?